Choosing Life For Your Marriage
When you married your spouse, if you were like most people, you were "in love". And sometimes those feelings begin to diminish. The reason these feelings can diminish is because being "in love" is an infatuation, a feeling. And like all feelings, it can come and go.
Surprisingly, love is not a feeling.
Love is an action.
Love is a choice.
When people say they have "fallen out of love", well they are no different than anyone else because the novelty and infatuation, the lust, wears off and often goes away with the day to day grind of life. The difference between people who stay loving one another and those who do not comes down to choices. The choice to love. Choosing to love when you do not "feel like it" or you feel that your spouse "doesn't deserve it" is what actually keeps your love alive. It is in those difficult moments when you want to give up, but choose to love anyways, that you actually experience transformation in your marriage.
So what does "choosing to love" look like?
It is choosing to stay silent when you want to "go off".
It is choosing peace over war.
It is choosing to be positive when you want to be negative.
It is choosing kindness and gentleness.
Choosing to succeed over failure.
Choosing to be humble.
Choosing resolution over a win.
Choosing to love is choosing to remove yourself in order to grow and transform your marriage. And in doing so, you will experience an added benefit of growth and transformation within yourself!
For more information on choosing love and growing in marriage, my husband and I have a new podcast called the Marriage Grind and you can check it out by clicking here
xo Crystal
P.S. I know this isn’t easy, marriage is difficult, which is why my husband and I offer marriage coaching. If you’re interested in receiving help or learning more about marriage coaching, send me an email click here
COPYRIGHT © 2019. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
On Love
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo
“Love is not an emotion. Love is an action, which must be chosen daily.”
Love is an action word. Love is a choice. Love is a command. True Love does not hurt, but it does challenge, it does stretch you, it does heal and it does restore. Love endures all things. Love does not give up. Love is not the giddy or butterfly feeling that you get when you see a cute guy or girl. Love is God-centered. No matter what you believe or what your religious or spiritual views are the fact is....God created you out of love and you were designed to love God and to love others.
Love is staying up all night to work out an issue.
Love is NOT turning over, saying "whatever" and going to sleep.
Love is choosing to apologize even when you think you're right.
Love is NOT waiting for the other person to "come around" or "gain some sense".
Love is thinking about what is better for the whole unit.
Love is NOT thinking about winning or what is better for self.
Love is giving to others. Love is NOT giving to self first and to others later.
Love is gentle touches. Love is NOT heavy hands and physical pain.
Love is kind words. Love is NOT name calling, using profanity, and putting others down.
Love is a way of life. Love is NOT just a word you say to get what you want.
Love is NOT a feeling. Love is action.
The solution is love. Love is at times ugly, bloody, and gruesome because loving means being in the trenches. Think about Jesus on the cross...bloody, bruised, and broken. That was true, unconditional, selfless love! It was not pretty, it was not fun, and it was not convenient. But it was the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE for you and for me.
What if we truly loved one another?
I challenge you to search your heart and your actions, and make a commitment to truly love others.
xo Crystal
COPYRIGHT © 2019. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.